Are You On The Offense? Or Defense?

How offendable is your heart?  Do you genuinely extend grace to others, or do you find yourself on the defensive—easily offended by the small moments scattered throughout your day? Which response do you think brings more peace?

Grace is having a relationship with someone’s heart, not their behaviours… The Grit and Grace Project.

This winter, I read a great devotional called The Search For An Unoffendable Heart. A great read – especially if you tend to get irritated or bothered throughout your day by others (honestly, I think we all have been there).  And with Easter just passing, it seemed like the perfect week to share these thoughts.

We all know the Easter story – the crucification of Jesus; dying for our sins. Even though Jesus was nailed to the cross having committed no wrong doing, no sin, or broke no law, He still extended grace to those who crucified Him.

“Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do – Luke 23:34

He forgave them. He passed along grace. He had, or rather has… an unoffendable heart.

Having an Offendable Heart (taking the defense day to day) seems to be heightened in today’s world.  The news, social media and even in our workplace or home – people tend to ‘shoot’ off their thoughts without pausing for peace.

Being offended means something has stirred up some sort of moral or physical string in you.  Something displeases you or causes you irritation.  Don’t get me wrong, we ALL have been irritated or offended at one point or another in our lives, however the crazy thing is… being offended doesn’t hurt the other person, it hurts YOU.  

Why would that be, you may ask?

Just like unforgiveness or being bitter – being offended is a poison that eats away at your peace.  Just because we have a ‘right’ to be offended, doesn’t make that the right thing to do.

We have a choice.  

When you feel your heartrate accelerating and emotions getting all stirred up, you may want to get angry and lash out, however stepping back, pausing and deciding to not become offended actually settles your soul and brings on peace.  You have a choice.  A choice to react or a choice to give grace.  

Why is it hard for some?

According to the author, it is due to having unfulfilled expectations – when others just don’t measure up or behave like you think they should.  The problem is (or rather the solution) is that we are all created different.  Different personalities, different viewpoints, and different ways of life that lead us to our different behaviours, different thoughts, different ways of doing things, and having different viewpoints.  I know I often have to remind myself that not everyone is like me and at times have to step back and give grace. I am also pretty sure grace is extended my way as well – I do have my own quirky personality at times which can affect others differently.

A great statement this author uses is this:  “It’s easy to see when someone else is being a brat, but it is not easy to see when we behaved like a brat“.  

When you think that way, it’s easy to become unoffendable and give grace.  We all need grace at times.  We all need forgiveness.  We all need love.  Let’s live our lives with the thought that others aren’t trying (on purpose) to behave badly or make mistakes.  Let’s give the benefit of the doubt – we are all trying our best.  

So, if you want to begin living a more peaceful way of life, begin today by giving grace and the benefit of the doubt for others… just like Jesus does. Living life an unoffended way will not only provide you with that sense of peace you strive for, but also provide you with the calm and love your soul desperately needs.  

Sidenote: For a similar read – click to read Are You A Daisy? Seems like only yesterday I wrote that blog, but it was 6 years ago – my very first blog post.