When Your Heart Hurts

Have you ever gone through something that tears your heart open?  Or been close to someone who had to make a decision that caused them so much pain?  Or was that you who had to make a decision that caused yourself much pain?  Recently, our family went through a difficult decision – one that caused sadness. One that caused heartache. One that caused tears when your heart hurts so much.  

I think when your heart hurts this much it means you opened it wide once – and that is something to be proud of…. Glennon Melton.

For years, we have hemmed and hawed with regards to owning a pet – or more specially – a dog.  Both of our children have always wanted one, but our lifestyle did not allow for it (we travelled a lot due to work conferences and/or personal vacations).  Since 2020, we had been thinking about a puppy a lot more and a few times, we came seriously close to adopting one.  However, an obstacle or blockage always came our way.  

Before Christmas, my husband and I made the decision to get a puppy.  When both of our kids were home for the holidays, we told them.  They were ecstatic!  We had found our perfect ball of fur – a blonde cockapoo.  He was the most perfect, loving, and cuddly puppy.  We named him Oaken – a name we came up after a scrabble game with my dad. We challenged my dad on the word; Oaken (he was correct…. It’s a word), but the word – name – stuck with us.  It suited him.  

We went right to work, purchasing necessary items, begin the training, and enjoy the fun.  However, his perfection caused our home imperfection.  Here we thought we were completely ready for what Oaken required and needed, but sadly, we were not.  

This little ball of perfection deserved more than what we could give him.  He deserved more than what would be in store for him.  We truly thought we could crate train him for while we were away at work.  But, after getting to know Oaken and his sweet, loving personality, there was no way he could be in a crate for hours at a time.  This puppy deserved to be with a family who could give him the attention he needed. 

You may be thinking…

• That was a dumb move
• How idiotic were you to adopt him and then not think about all the responsibilities?
• How could you do that to him?
• Oh, he’d get used to being in the crate
• It takes a strong person/family to put Oaken’s needs ahead of yours…..

It was that last line (a statement from someone dear) that got to our hearts.  We had to put Oaken’s needs ahead of our own.  We truly believe that God had this orchestrated all along.  We believe that Oaken was meant to be with us that short time in order to become a part of the loving family he is now.  We believe that if we didn’t adopt him at that time, he would have gone to a unloving home or an abusive home. God had us foster him for this perfect family that was brought to us immediately once we made the hard decision to put his needs before ours.  

The family who officially adopted him had lost their family dog and was still sad from the loss.  When they heard about Oaken, they immediately took interest and once they found out he was a cockapoo (that was their very first dog ever), it was a most definite yes.  

Oaken is now with this loving retired family who has endless time for him and because of the hospital volunteer work that they do, Oaken will be trained as a therapy dog. God had bigger plans for Oaken and knowing he will be bringing others so much joy – warmed our hearts tremendously. This family also decided to honour us. They kept his name – well – a minor alteration. He is now called Oakee. We were so touched that they would honour our family in that way.

Our previously hurting heart(s) are now on the mend.  Does it still hurt? Sometimes.  We get updates from the family every now and then and seeing him at peace and happy puts a smile on our faces, but it pings at the heart just a small bit.  

I think through all of this, I have learned that even though we may think we have a plan all figured out, if God has a different one, He will definitely make it happen. And when it does… everything clicks into place.  Yes, we had such heartache.  It almost felt like we gave away a child, but we know without any doubt that the whole process of wanting Oaken, bringing him home, and ultimately him going to a new family – was all for the greater good.  

Have you ever had a similar outcome? Where you thought you had something completely planned out, but in the end, a different outcome occurs?  If so, please know that it’s not by mistake.  God always has a plan and things happen for a reason.  Peace will always occur if it follows what God has planned for you.  

Pray, listen and follow direction.  He will always show you the way.  

We will never regret having Oaken – for even the short time we had him.  He filled our heart with so much joy and love.  We thank God every day for the gift of him.