Pandora’s Box
Have you ever had something that stops you dead in your tracks? Had an event or tragedy that comes out of left field? Has Pandora’s box been blasted open? For me, it’s yes, to all three – recently actually. About a month ago, I lost my mom.
Pandora’s Box: Any source of great and unexpected troubles
Now, my mom has had varying health issues off and on over many years of her life. Over thirty years ago, her spleen ruptured. We almost lost her then, but she fought back and survived. A few years later, she was diagnosed with liver cancer, but again… with eating healthy, omitting alcohol, exercising, and her determination, her cancer never spread or grew in size.
She was a fighter. When she set her mind to something, she did it. She was a determined lady who when told to do something, she followed through.
At the beginning of June, we thought she had the flu. She tried for days to get fluids and soft foods into her, but they just would not go in or stay in. On the fifth day, we suggested that she go to the hospital. Some IV fluids would help her dehydration and ultimately, provide some much needed comfort.
Aside: Due to the current Covid-19 situation, my Dad was unable to go with her. He had to drop her off at emergency. The whole concept of this completely frustrated me (as well as my Dad). My Mom had to admit herself, explain the situation herself, and comprehend any Doctor information – ALL BY HERSELF. I won’t get into the complete insanity of a husband being denied entrance to help out a visibly instable wife…. That is a completely different political Covid-19 topic.
Upon testing, it was discovered that my Mom had a bowel obstruction. The doctors were going to try some non-invasive methods first to see if it would ‘untwist’. This was Sunday. The next few days, she had some discomfort, but also some very good days. The medical staff was monitoring her closely and it was looking like she may get to come home soon. Friday came and the doctors ordered emergency surgery for her. Thankfully, that evening, the medical staff allowed my Dad to visit my mom. I was grateful for this encounter – simply because a) for the sake of my Mom to see my Dad and his strength over her and b) for my Dad to see my Mom in person to help ease any of his fears.
The next couple of days seemed to be good. She was feisty! She had vigor! She was determined to get moving and not keep lying around. She had a purpose to get better and nothing was going to stop her – at least on her plan. Monday arrived and so did the fatigue. Her body was starting to slow down. Her blood pressure was beginning to drop and they were admitting her to ICU. By Tuesday, my Dad was instructed to immediately come see her (the ICU nurse broke protocol and did not ask for permission for my Dad to visit – Thankfully!). He saw my mom for the last time.
Have you ever read the book – The Notebook? Or, watched the movie? Have you ever known a couple with a fairytale marriage? My parent’s marriage was this. They met in kindergarten, started dating in grade 8 and were married for 56 years. When my dad saw my mom and she woke to see him, she gave him a sweet smile and asked, “Where have you been?” She was at peace. She saw my Dad’s face and was completely at peace.
She passed early the next morning into heaven……..
While the days following her passing were not easy, even the word difficult would come to mind, knowing she was at peace brought peace to my heart. There is comfort knowing that the passing of a loved one was peaceful. There is comfort knowing that I will see her again in Heaven. There is comfort in knowing she is no longer in any discomfort or pain.
So even though a tragic event may have hit me with surprise; a Pandora Box of sort, I was able to revel the strength within myself to not only cope with the grief, but to step up and provide strength for my family, strength for my Dad, and to have the stoic determination of grace for my Mom.
I know many of you have encountered difficulties, tragedies, or even traumas. I know and understand the struggles of a hurting heart or supporting a loved one with a hurting heart. I completely believe that our struggles, our tragic events, the opening of Pandora’s box unexpectedly all provide the necessary strength we need for tomorrow.
Pandora’s Box may be filled with unexpected troubles, but the box itself is beautiful. Just like viewing life or someone else’s’ life may be beautiful from the outside, but inside, the struggles may be great. Please know that whatever struggles or unexpected troubles that may blast out of your box, there is beauty in the struggle. There is beauty in the pain.
To all who mourn, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. Isaiah 61:3
There is still beauty and grace ahead. Straight from the ashes. Straight from the pain. Straight towards strength. Straight towards joy and laughter.
If you are encountering any struggles or just need someone who will listen, please feel free to contact me with the button below. Everyone needs a someone to lean on.
