3 Dots

If you’re an iPhone user, you’re probably familiar with those infamous three dots. (Maybe it’s a universal thing across all phones? Honestly, I’m not sure about the others.) But I do know that when I’m deep in a texting chain and those three dots appear… they can bring a rush of excitement — or feel like a suspenseful eternity, especially if the conversation is getting serious. So, how would you describe your 3 dots moment?

Some things are worth the wait. A little suspense heightens the pleasure…. Anonymous

Texting has become the new ‘phone call’ of this century.  I remember as a kid speaking for hours with friends on the phone – outlining our day at school, events coming up, or boys we liked.  Now, it seems the phone calls have lessened and texting has increased.  I too have jumped ship of the regular phone calls (however, there are still a few lucky ones who I keep in touch with over the phone) and have incorporated texts into my daily routine to my loved ones.  

My insides fill with excitement when I am in the middle of a texting chain and those 3 dots show up.  Then – a great reply, emoji, or a meme bubbles in.  It’s when those 3 dots disappear, reappear, then disappear again where a bit of nervousness creeps in.  

Aside: For those of you wondering what that last sentence means… It means a long reply is coming.

I begin to wonder…

Is a long story coming?

Did something happen that I need to know about?

Did I offend them in any way?

Often, it’s a heartfelt story, a personal reflection, or a piece of wisdom the sender wants to share. More often than not, it’s touching and sincere — something meant to warm my heart. But every now and then, a response arrives that completely catches me off guard. It makes me question whether something I said was taken the wrong way, and the reaction that follows hits you right in the pit of your stomach. 

What do you do in that case?  

How does it make you feel?

Personally, the idea that I might have upset or offended someone really unsettles me. Maybe you feel the same way? If you read a past recent blog, Life Lessons – letting someone down hurts.  Offending someone hurts just as much, if not more.  

I know I have been there – on the receiving end of those dreaded 3 dots waiting for a response to come in only to see some harsh words.  It doesn’t feel good at all.  I read once that when it hits you in the pit of your stomach, that’s because the pit of your stomach is where all the unspoken feelings live.  They latch onto each other to stir those dreaded words altogether.  The more you keep those unspoken feelings hidden and contained, the stronger they become. 

Wow!  That’s a realization.

The longer you keep those unspoken feelings bottled up, the more powerful they grow. Suddenly, those three little dots take on a whole new depth — they’re not just a sign someone’s typing, but a symbol of everything left unsaid. 

If you are someone who bottles up those ‘unspoken words’, I am going to guess the pit of your stomach often turns.  Swirling little phrases and statements binding together creating such a jumbled mess of destruction.  

Destruction you ask?

Yes!  You see.  Those dreaded three dots are often just the surface — a sign of something deeper stirring beneath. If you’ve ever found yourself sitting there, watching and waiting for that next sentence to appear, you know the swirl of unspoken feelings it can trigger. Chances are, this isn’t the first time. I’d bet that the person behind those three dots has sparked these stirring emotions before. And I’d also bet you’ve held back, tamping those feelings down more than once. That’s why the anticipation — the unease that builds as you wait — feels so heavy. It’s not just about what’s being typed. It’s about everything that’s already been felt, but never said.

How do you resolve this feeling?

How do you evacuate those unspoken feelings that live in the pit of your stomach?

1. You can react just as harshly in a mirrored text reply – but if we are being honest, does this help?  Not really.
2. You can ignore the string of texts that are dinging through – but that may fill up the pit of your stomach with unspoken feelings.
3. You can pause for a moment, reflect, and call or text back simply stating you meant no harm or offense giving grace to their reaction.
4. Give it to God –  Let Him work on the spirit of the sender.  If something you had said was taken out of context and misunderstood and the sender chooses not to understand or soften – then let God do His wonder on them. It is not your responsibility or ability to change a person.

In order to evacuate those unspoken feelings, the 3^rd or 4^th option will truly cleanse your soul.  If left unresolved, those tender unspoken feelings having a wild party in the pit of your stomach will just wreak havoc the more you add. On the flip side, if you’ve been the one to launch those 3 dots in a harsh manner, taking some time to reflect and apologize will also cleanse your soul. Unresolved feelings on either side is a disaster waiting to happen.

So, as you move through your day and send those thoughtful texts to friends and loved ones, take a moment to be intentional with your words — a gentle reminder to think before you speak or type. That matters. But just as important is how you receive. If you spot those three little dots lingering, take a breath, and pause. It might be something lighthearted — maybe even a meme that’ll make you laugh out loud. And wouldn’t that be a lovely surprise?

If this email could come in as 3 dots… I hope by the time you finished reading, a little hope and resolve has filled your soul rather than emptiness or uneasiness.  We all deserve some calm and peace – even when texting those you care about.