How They Remember You

how they remember you

We just celebrated Thanksgiving.  Every year, I try to reflect on what I am grateful for and what I am thankful for.  Although Thanksgiving was different this year – with the passing of my mom and the infamous Covid gloom, I also started to reflect on how would I be remembered.  

Someone, I tell you, in another time will remember us – Sappho

There is a song by Rascal Flatts – How They Remember You.  I know, I know… another song I am inspired by to write a Blog, but songs can hit you in the heart and soul.  They can inspire you and also help you reflect upon your life or moments.  

Here are a few lyrics from the song:
Did you stand or did you fall?
Build a bridge or build a wall?
Hide your love or give it all?
What did you do? What did you do?
Did you make 'em laugh or make 'em cry?
Did you quit or did you try?
Live your dreams or let 'em die?
What did you choose? What did you choose?
When it all comes down
It ain't if, it's how they remember you. 

I think reading the lyrics honestly; we have all done both sides.   Have I stood?  Yes, I have. Have I fallen? Certainly.  Have I built bridges to others? Yes, but have I also put up walls to create distance?  Most definitely.  Have I hidden my love to someone? Yes, and I have given it all to some as well. 

As I listen to the song, I wonder how would I be remembered?  What would others say?  Would they say I was kind and friendly? Or, would they say I had a hard heart?  Would they say I was loving and compassionate? Or, would they say I was mean and heartless? Would they say I was easy and fun to be around? Or, would they say it was difficult or stressful to be around me?  Would they say I lived a fulfilled life? Or would they say I played small and did not go after any dreams?  

I am unsure how others will remember me by?  I would hope it is not the latter of those questions, but more of the kind, loving, friendly characteristics.  It does make me reflect and wonder though.  It does make me think about how I am acting in this world.  How I am treating others.  I think we all go through seasons where we are a bit ‘off’ or possibly say something unkind.  I think the point to make is that we realize this and want to make changes when that happens.  

My mom passed this summer.  Since June, I have spent countless hours thinking about her.  How would others remember her now?  I can’t speak for her friends, my Dad, my brother, or even my family, but for me, she will always be remembered by: 

  • Her funny quirky ways
  • Her love for her Grandkids
  • Her competitive nature for golf
  • The comforting way she had with every phone call I would make
  • She always looked impeccable
  • Her laugh
  • Her generosity
  • How proud she was of me

This then makes me think about all the other people in my life that I love and why I am thankful for them.  Here is a sample of how I will remember them:

My husband:  When I think of my husband, I think of his undying love for me, his gift of speaking (he can captivate any room – large or small – with his stop you in your tracks – fill your heart and soul up – storytelling), his love of music (again, such a talent with an ability to play any instrument placed in front of him), his drive for achieving any dream he sets out to do, and how he will put his family first above anything else.  

My daughter: When I think of my daughter, I think of her beauty – inside and out, how she sings when she talks (she has sung from the time she was born.  Always loving music. She fills my heart up with so much love just by the sound of her voice), and her ability to make me laugh.  

My son: When I think of my son, I think of his kind heart, how funny he is, how honest he is, his way with words (he has written so many cards and letters that hit me right in the heart with how loving he is – some girl is going to be so lucky one day), and his dedication to his friends. 

My Dad:  When I think of my dad, I think of ‘dad’ jokes, golf (fun fact – my dad has gotten 2 hole’s in one in his lifetime so far), Dolly Parton, Crystal Gale, Kenny Rogers, and the song Gloria all come to mind, his generosity, his patience, and his ability to think positive all the time.  

My brother: When I think of my brother, I think of the guitar, golf (another fun fact – my brother has gotten 1 hole in one in his lifetime so far), his knowledge of the skies/stars and his willingness to help others.  

My mother in law: When I think of my mother in law, I think of how funny she is, her kind eyes, her appreciation for others and her love for her family.  

So, even though Thanksgiving may be over for this year (for my American friends, you are a month away from yours), you can always reflect on what you are grateful or thankful for.  An easy way to do this is to start a Gratitude Journal.  Every morning, write down 5 (or more) things that you are either thankful for or grateful for.  Some days, you may find it hard to do and other days, you may find it easy.  This is especially good if you are in a season of despair, sadness, or worry.  Starting your day writing down your ‘thankful’ thoughts can set your day up right.  Put some positivity in your mind.  Or, even just put a smile on your face.  It can also lead into some ideas of how ‘they will remember you’.  

Here is what I wrote down today:

  • I am grateful for my health
  • I am grateful for pretty flowers (they brighten up the day)
  • I am grateful for my husband (he knows my heart)
  • I am thankful for great neighbours
  • I am thankful for having a loving family

What’s yours?  If you’d like to share, click on the button below 

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