Life’s Chapters: What’s Yours?

What stage of life are you in? Just starting out – everything fresh and new – beginning life? Becoming established, but still living out your dreams? Or, have you reached the peak of your career and nearing that bridge over to your work-free retirement years? These life chapter’s – specifically the ‘pause’ stage can not only be exciting and thrilling, but it can also be scary or unnerving.
“My belief is that it is a privilege to get older. Not everyone gets to get older… Cameron Diaz
I am now entering that midlife chapter. That stage of life where we are not only trying to decide on stepping back a bit at work, but also that stage where your purpose (as a female) has possibly changed. It’s a stage of a ‘pause’ per se.
Side Note: For all of your male readers… I do apologize. This week’s blog is more of a female content or structure.
The ‘pause’ stage has a couple meanings that I am beginning to figure out and each one has its struggles and blessings. This concept was brought to light for me from another fantastic devotional called Aging Gratefully.
Pause stage #1: Your purpose has changed. Your children are no longer at home – or if they are, they are adults and not requiring your assistance or guidance (as much or even at all).
Pause stage #2: Your hormones are all wonky and changing – hence the ‘pause’ in menopause.
After reading these stages, I can completely relate. I really struggled when both my kids were out of the house away at school. I felt I had no purpose and actually felt completely deflated with no joy. Although, my husband and I were beginning to do spontaneous fun dates or events, my heart was sad. It has taken a long time for healing to begin. Throughout my entire ‘mom’ life, each day was filled with to-do’s, child events to get to, homework projects to help complete, and meals to prepare. Then, it was like it went empty. That eventually turned into strange days filled with uneasiness, unfulfilled plans and trying to control my day to day (all laced with wonky hormones trying to stabilize in this new being of mine).

According to Aging Gratefully, it’s like a lot of women jump from one thing to the next. Raising kids – check. Graduations – check. Kids move out – check. Kids move back in – check. Job changes – check. Big birthdays and anniversaries – check. Then, it’ll be soon on to caring for elderly parents – check and helping with grandchildren – check. It’s like the pause button is missing during all those years, but eventually comes out in midlife – only it’s labled:

As we age, all the frantic or high-speed check lists may disappear and if we really think about it, our purpose (that we thought we lost) has only shifted – not disappeared.
All those years and stages we went through has prepared us for this point in life and has made us stronger and more capable in who we are. We can hold our ground in any storm we encounter because of how we grew and became strong throughout our 20’s, 30’s and 40s. Now, we can use that knowledge for the purpose of guiding our daughters, our sons, or our young loved ones.
Our Purpose has only shifted – not disappeared
Although at first, it may seem like a struggle or a heartache, it is actually such a gift and a blessing. We now can step into this new stage of life – releasing that PAUSE button and pressing the START button. We have a new purpose on life filled with knowledge and insight with versions of our younger self waiting in the wings to offer some support. We now have the opportunity to share our insights, guiding those younger than us through eye-opening – and often humorous lessons learned along the way.
I now understand the calm and insight my own mom had as I struggled through the different stages growing up. I only hope I can provide the same insight and calm to my own children one day.
So, as I enter this new stage of life – with wonky hormones and all – I will take each day as a gift and as a blessing even if it encounters its own struggles. I know the pause of those later chapters will only create a start of a new purpose. One that I am excited to enter.