Friendships

How is your social circle?  Is it wide and filled with acquaintances, colleagues, and casual friends? Or is it smaller, more intimate, and made up of people who feel like family? Another way to look at it is to ask yourself: Are you a good friend? Friendships matter deeply, and if your circle feels limited, maybe it’s time to lower the walls a little and open yourself up to new connections.

I recently finished a wonderful devotional called How to Identify Real Friends—you can find it HERE if you’re interested. The author beautifully reminds us of how valuable friendships are. They can be uplifting, filled with joy, laughter, and connection. But friendships can also be challenging, frustrating, and at times, demanding. That’s why it’s so important to choose our friends wisely, as we often reflect the beliefs, values, and attitudes of those we surround ourselves with.

Loyalty is the truest test of friendship. A genuine friend loves at all times—through the highs and the lows. They don’t walk away or cast you aside. Instead, they stand by you, steady and faithful, in moments of joy and in seasons of struggle. They’re the ones who lift you up when you’re weak, comfort you in times of sorrow, and hold you accountable when your ego creeps in. A true friend doesn’t echo the lies of the enemy, but speaks the truth you need to hear—even when it’s hard.

Those echoes often reveal our blind spots—the things a true friend can recognize when we cannot. We all need to be challenged. We all need accountability. We need people in our lives who, with gentleness and love, help keep us on the right path. Friends we trust, who know us deeply, and who care enough to speak truth. Without these kinds of friendships, we risk heading toward disaster—believing we can do no wrong, saying and doing whatever we please, and living without direction.

Love confronts

Pleasers shrink and stay small.  

Aside: Be careful not to get carried away when confronting or holding someone accountable. Taken too far, it crosses into criticism or judgment—and that’s not God’s way.

After reading this and how important friends are, how would you rate yourself on a friend scale?

With the help of my assistant “Chad” (better known as ChatGPT), I put together a friendship quiz to help you discover just how good of a friend you really are.

Are You a Good Friend?

Answer each question honestly. Write down your score after each question, then total them at the end.

1. When your friend shares exciting news, you usually:

• A. Celebrate with them and ask questions (3 points)
• B. Say “That’s nice” and change the subject (1 point)
• C. Feel a little jealous but still try to congratulate them (2 points)

2. If your friend is going through a hard time, you:

• A. Reach out, listen, and offer support (3 points)
• B. Send a quick text but don’t follow up too much (2 points)
• C. Avoid the situation because you’re not sure what to say (1 point)

3. How often do you make time or reach out just to check in with your friends?

• A. Regularly—I check in or make plans often (3 points)
• B. Occasionally, when it’s convenient or if I remember (2 points)
• C. Rarely—I wait for them to contact me (1 point)

4. When you disagree or have conflict with a friend, you usually:

• A. Talk it through respectfully to repair the friendship (3 points)
• B. Ignore it and hope it goes away (2 points)
• C. Get upset and distance myself from them – holding a grudge (1 point)

5. If your friend achieves something big (promotion, award, etc.), you:

• A. Celebrate with them genuinely (3 points)
• B. Feel a little jealous, but still say ‘congrats’ (2 points)
• C. Say little or nothing—it doesn’t really concern you (1 point)

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Scoring:

• 13–15 points → ⭐ Great Friend! You’re supportive, reliable, and caring.
• 9–12 points → 👍 Good Friend. You care, but there’s room to be more consistent.
• 5–8 points → 👀 Needs Work. You may want to reflect on how you show up in friendships.

How did you do?

When I took the quiz myself, I was pleasantly surprised with my score—turns out, I’m a great friend! Deep down, I think I already knew that. I try to be consistent, reliable, quick to forgive, and genuinely happy for others. I love reaching out to friends near and far, and I’ve never been one to let jealousy or resentment get in the way.

Aside: However… I can sometimes let the best of me get clouded and not be the greatest friend that is needed at the time. Sometimes, selfishness creeps in or that ‘What About Me‘ aspect I talked about in a recent blog and end up disappointing a loved one. If that happens, be quick to apologize and express your sorrow. Mistakes and mess-ups happen – we aren’t perfect, but you need to be accountable for your mishaps as well.

That said, I know I need to expand my social circle. Many of my closest friends live far away, and while we stay connected, I don’t see them in person often. Locally, we do have wonderful friends, but those connections are more seasonal and couple-focused—which is great, but reading this devotional reminded me that close girlfriends right here, within reach, are good for the soul. Maybe it’s time to step out of my comfort zone, join a group, or explore local events this fall.

Unsure where to start to look for friends?  Well, try something simple like a church event, or a woman’s retreat.  What about a book reading or a paint night?  If you are athletic, possibly sign up for a team event like volleyball or badminton.  There are endless possibilities to make a connection.  The first step is getting out there.  

To all my current friends—please know how much you mean to me. Your love and friendship fill my heart daily—from the thoughtful check-in messages, to the Christmas memes, to the simple, heartfelt “hellos.” Even though miles may separate us, the bond we share is strong and unshakable. You are my daily sweet surprises in my inbox. You truly mean the world to me.