Be The One

Are you struggling to find the right soulmate?  If you are like most people – you probably have an ideal person in mind.  Someone who suits all your wants and needs.  But!  If you look internally – at yourself, would you marry yourself?  How about learning to be the one in order to find the one.

The world is full of kind people… if you can’t find one, be one… Anonymous

I have been quite fortunate – God gifted me with an amazing man who is my husband.  However, there were many trials, searching, and learning before we even met.  Even after we met – even 30+ years later – we are still learning to be the one for each other.  

Recently, I have read a great devotional called Baesics.  It’s about learning to Be The One in order to flourish in your relationships.  This devotional had many great insights not only to help those who may be in search of a relationship, but also for those already in one and want to better themselves.  If reading this devotional interests you, click HERE.  

If you are single – you may be searching for someone who is funny, loves children, faithful and knows God, healthy, understanding, kind and patient.  But are YOU those characteristics?  In order to find that person, you first need to BE that person.  Instead of asking who you want to marry? Ask yourself who are you becoming?

How To Be The One?

• Forget the ‘meant to be’ notion.  Relationships are work.
• Love (in a biblical reference) is a job description.  Godly love is not just an emotion, it is a choice or an action.  
• There are no pre-made people/relationships – this assumes that others are perfect and don’t need to work on anything. We all sin. 
• Do not have the concept that you only work on the relationship when things are good and ignore the work when things are bad.
• Serve others – when you meet the needs of others– you don’t take them for granted.
• Be intentional – meaning: work at it!
• Be loving
• Be respectful
• Be giving
• Be nurturing

After reading that list, do you need to grow or reflect in any areas?  Did any one point stand out?  For me, I loved the statement that there are no premade people.  We are ALL a work in progress.  Having room for others to grow while you grow yourself is an amazing selfless quality.  It is choosing to love.  

So, whether you are in search of the one or already have the one, but want to better yourself and your relationship – these points and/or steps can be helpful.  You can only attract someone who pursues the same depth as your pursuit  (as told by the author of Baesics).  That goes for those already in a relationship.  Your level of relationship growth will only be measured to the depth of your own growth.  

What do you do now?

Write down at least 5 qualities of your idea spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend and become those.  

For example:

• Giving
• Adventurous
• Faithful
• Kind
• Patient

Work daily on being those qualities (or the ones you chose) and you will attract others who are those qualities.  Remember – relationships are work.  You can’t just sit back and coast.  Finding the one means being the one.  A selfless act which will attract the one right to you.  Go and become that person that not only God wants you to be, but who your future better half will find. 

Sidenote: Baesics – Finding The One is also a book. If you wish to purchase it – click HERE