I heard a song the other day – Homecoming Queen by Kelsea Ballerini, and it hit me in my core. Have you heard it? It’s really good. I was not a homecoming queen – they don’t have that in Canada, but I was a fair queen. In small town Ontario – fair queens were the talk of the season.
Every year, prior to the town’s fall fair, girls would participate in the Fair Queen Pagent in hopes of becoming the next fair queen. Duties included the fair parade, judging contests all weekend at the fair, walking around making appearances and being entered into the Miss CNE pagent in Toronto where you could win a car. Overall, it is a memory I will cherish forever.
Back to the song… the song isn’t specifically about being a homecoming queen, but rather upholding an image; a front – not letting anyone see the real you.
Here are the song lyrics….
Hey homecoming queen Why do you lie When somebody’s mean? Where do you hide? Do people assume You’re always alright Been so good at smiling Most of your life. Look damn good in the dress Zipping up the mess Dancing with your best foot forward Does it get hard To have to play the part? Nobody's feeling sorry for ya But what if I told you the world wouldn't end If you started showing what's under your skin What if you let 'em all in on the lie? Even the homecoming queen cries Hey homecoming queen How's things at home? Still walking on eggshells When that curtain's closed Did your daddy teach you How to act tough? Or more like your mama? Sweep it under the rug Look damn good in the dress Zipping up the mess Dancing with your best foot forward Did you want the crown Or does it weigh you down Nobody's feeling sorry for ya What if I told you the world wouldn't end If you started showing what's under your skin? What if you let 'em all in on the lie? Even the homecoming queen cries Yeah, what if I told you the sky wouldn't fall? If you lost your composure, said to hell with it all Not everything pretty sparkles and shines And even the homecoming queen cries Oh yeah Even the homecoming queen cries Hey homecoming queen Why do you lie? When somebody's mean Where do you hide?
Growing up, I was in the popular crowd. On the sport teams. Involved in everything. Dated guys in the popular circles. Teachers loved us. We were known within the school and outside of the school. Looking back, we had an image – smart, pretty, athletic, from ‘good’ families. No one bugged us. No one picked on us. We were at the top of the social crowd.
Looking back on those seemingly fabulous years, the image was much like the song. We, or I guess I can only speak of myself, had an image to uphold – a front. We -I- could not show anyone (at least I thought I could not) the struggles happening at the time and still occur even in today’s teen years.
I think a lot of teenage girls still go through some of the same struggles that were occurring back in my day. Here is a list of the top teenage struggles; many of which either myself or my friends felt 30 years ago:
- Cheating boyfriends
- Peer Pressure
What I’d like to tell my past self, my friends in their past selves, and all future teenage girls is that we all go through struggles. These struggles in life will vary. Some will be traumatic. Some will be manageable. Some will be life altering to either yourself or a friend, but regardless of the type of struggle, you need to know you can open up. You can turn to a friend, a loved one, a parent, a co-worker, a trusted adult or a neighbour. You don’t have to put on a front. Like the song says, the world is not going to end if you start showing what’s under your skin. The sky is not going to fall if you lose your composure just for the hell of it after all.
Be honest. Be yourself.
Life may seem serious at age 16 and it may seem heavy and even scary. Maybe even more so in today’s day and age with social media, the internet, and the world’s high expectations on these youths. Just remember that the ‘internet world’ is fake. It’s not real.
Face to face interaction. Laughter. Friendships with your girlfriends. Those are what are real. Hang on to those moments. They are magical times and when you are in your forties like me, you will hopefully look back and have a huge smile on your face knowing you weren’t zipping up any mess and the life you led was a truthful, happy, fulfilled life.
For me now, looking back – I do smile at my high school days. Even with any teenage drama that may have occurred; my friends were awesome, my family was supportive and loving, and I knew I could open up when I needed to.
Here’s a throwback picture for you. This year marks 30 years since I was crowned Fair Queen. Seems like yesterday.
Need someone to talk to, feel free to click below if you need a friend. I”m here.